Decisions, decisions...

Ever since I was asked in my Education class what I would be doing if I weren't at IU, I've been wondering exactly that. I realized that if I don't get my act together and focus on school, I just might have to do something else, even if temporarily. I came to the conclusion that I had three main options.

Option 1: join the military. This is obviously my least favorite option but the smartest financially. If it came down to this, I would probably go with the Navy or the Coast Guard just because I would get to travel more than I would with the Army. However financially smart this decision would be, it wouldn't be so ideal. I'm very friend oriented and it would be extremely hard to be away from them.

Option 2: transfer to Ivy Tech, work, and live with friends. I would continue my schooling but instead of at IU, I would go to Ivy Tech, or some school of that sort, and try to get my degree that way. I would continue to work part time at Old Navy and maybe even pick up a second part time job. I would find some friends to live with in an apartment/house in either Bloomington or Indianapolis. This would be my best option if IU is out of the equation.

Option 3: pick up a full time job, save up to go back to IU in a few years, and live with friends in the meantime. In addition to keeping my part time job at Old Navy, I would pick up a full time job, most likely as a waitress, and save up money. I would get the apartment or house with friends and live paycheck to paycheck. This option is also not ideal, but probably the most realistic.

So, moral of this blog... do your work, kiddies. I would love to stay at IU and keep on with the plan that I initially set up, but since I didn't work as hard as I should've, I might have to settle for a back-up plan.

The Good Ol' Days

My whole high school career, my life revolved around one thing: show choir. This year has been a huge adjustment for me, not just because of the classes being different, me being away from home, or now being in debt to the US government (thank you, IU), but mainly because I am not in show choir anymore. Now I know you may be thinking, its just a club... what's the big deal? But to me, my high school show choir, TC Singers, wasn't just a club, it was my family.

Starting my eighth grade year, I became intrigued with the glitz, glamor, and harmonies of show choir. My choir teacher of that year, who later became my show choir director in high school, convinced me to do stage crew for the TC Singers. At first, it wasn't so much fun toting around the sweaty costumes, heavy drum sets, and dealing with the diva attitudes. But then we went to our first competition in Fairfield, Ohio. The bus ride there was a ton of fun, some people singing and acting out stories, the boys plotting their flirtations with the other schools' girls, others "mentally preparing" themselves by listening to the show's songs on their iPods... aka, sleeping. We get to Fairfield High School and the chaos begins. We jog to the room and the Singers go into the warmup room while the stage crew unloads equipment. About half an hour later, everyone's in costume and rushing to the stage.
Its the big moment, everyone's onstage, smiling their cheesiest smiles, and the first chord is struck on the piano. Senior Steve Carnagua begins his solo. Then, its my personal big moment... grabbing the handheld mic when his solo is done. My heart is racing, I have to go onstage! My time comes and I awkwardly go out onstage and retrieve the mic, avoiding all eye contact as much as possible. I scurry offstage and hand the bassist the mic for the next soloist.

Its so funny to think back to that day when I was so nervous to go onstage for even five seconds. The summer going into my freshman year, I went to the high school to audition for TC Singers and nailed it. I was in! I thought it couldn't get any better, I already loved the group.
And then we had our first show, Fall Preview. Everything went by so fast, I was onstage and smiling in my dress before I realized that I was no longer the girl carrying all of the props, I was the one performing for hundreds of people. I was unbelievably nervous waiting for the show to start, my cheeks becoming numb from smiling so much. The song started and my feet started to move on their own, my memory taking over. I hear my voice singing louder than I ever have and see the pleased looks on the faces in the crowd, and then I realized that show choir could in fact get better. I fell in love with it more and more every performance and actually looked forward to having Signers class everyday, knowing that I would see my best friends, my brothers and sisters.

Now that I haven't been onstage in about nine months, the memories feel like a dream. My craving for the stage is still there, but now faint and appears to never again be satisfied. The hardest part of leaving high school was leaving my show choir. From the stage work in my eighth grade year to leading the group as president my senior year, show choir became my world, basically the only thing that made me feel like... me.
Everyone tells us that college is the place to find yourself. I believe that I already had found myself. I'm the person who belongs living in world of musicals, a world of performing and helping others perform. Now that performing in the TC Singers isn't a part of my life, I don't have to "find" myself, but reinvent who I am. Maybe one day, I will be able to be onstage again, singing my lungs out and dancing my feet off. Until then, I'm happy recalling the good ol' days.